purpose

My father was diagnosed with cancer on May 21st, 2014.  After more pathology had been done on the masses they found in his liver, the doctors discovered that he had stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized to the liver.  Through the past 5 months or so, things have been good, things have been bad, and things have been very, very difficult.  Trusting God and his plan for my family has been extremely hard.  Even impossible at times.

So I decided to start a blog.  And REALLY write about things going on,  things I'm learning through this journey.  The title, "finding peace through the pain" is what my heart is attempting to do at the moment.  To find peace in the midst of the pain and the fear.  Things I say may sound dark or morbid, but that's the reality of what is happening.  It truly is dark and morbid.  

I cope through music.  hugs.  crying.  a good dessert.  positive words.  distractions.  It all works together to make every day a bit more bearable.  The thought of losing my dad is terrifying to me.  There is a time to mourn and grieve, but living each day with a purpose and a goal is huge in finding a sense of peace and trusting that things will be okay, no matter what the outcome may end up being. The odds for my dad aren't good.  Maybe around a 5% chance of survival, but there's STILL 5%!  God is still in the miracle business, and He does heal, whether that be our view of physical healing, or healing by being united with Him in Paradise.  

So my soul will cry.  It will scream.  It will be angry.  But ultimately, in the end, it will say:

IT IS WELL